How Handsome I Would Be


#9 of 11 questions in 11 days, in response to Writingspiration:

If someone was going to make a film about your life who would play you and why?


Wait, is the question who would I want to play me, or who would want to play me? Because for the first I would have to say Tom Hanks, or some studly dude. Maybe even Will Smith. But the second is harder to answer, because it begins with why a script based on my life would be compelling to an actor. What exactly is my story and why is it worth telling?

Okay, yes, I am putting far too much thought into this. But that is what I do. Is that compelling!? Honestly, I think I am going to have to finish writing my own story–an autobiography of sorts–before I can really analyze this scenario appropriately.

Who would do it? Many actors, for the right paycheck. Many others, again, because they make some terrible films.


I could see Jim Carey or Adam Sandler playing me, but definitely humoring it up quite a bit. I’m funny, but not motion picture funny. And both of them have done a film or two that people never, ever want to see again. I think my story could live up to that. Ha!

I tried to Google image search for an actor who is my doppelganger, but I didn’t find one before my router flipped out and I lost my connection. I was visualizing actors with similar facial hair, specifically Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. They don’t look anything like each other, and neither looks anything at all like me. Good try.


I keep coming back to someone like Kevin Sussman, that nerdy, gangly guy that gives puppy love a whole new meaning in the movie Hitch (starring Smith), and currently is the comic store owner on television’s The Big Bang Theory. Nerdy and gangly is about right for me, too. Ha!

Jennifer was no help–I asked her for her opinion, and she went to bed without an answer. I don’t blame her. It’s a tough question, apparently.

Since I am answering another implausible question, I shall ultimately answer it with an impossible answer: The actor that would play me is Cary Grant. He would play me, but he died when I was 15, so he won’t.


Now I just have to decide what my film would be about, and how much money it would make in its opening week…




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